In a previous article we talked about the importance of choices for child development . Today we will talk about how to teach children to make good choices. To do so, it is necessary to keep three premises in mind:

1. The child is in the process of development and is not yet mature enough to make all kinds of choices. The adult needs to show paths, establish limits and propose challenges that are consistent with the child’s age. 

2. No one becomes good at something they have never practiced . Allow your child to practice the skill of choice in small, everyday actions. The more choices they make, the better they become at it, making the process simpler for them and for us adults.

3. Control your pride . Some parents get frustrated when their children make choices that are different from what they would like – whether it’s choosing a song or a college major. When we give them the opportunity to make choices, we also help them understand their own tastes and build their own personality. 

Let’s get to the practical tips:

Choosing clothes

Make a limited number and variety of items accessible to the child, keeping the rest out of reach. Restricting the possibilities is a way to guide and facilitate the choice, so the child will not wear a tank top on a cold day, for example. At first, the child will probably take everything out of place and have difficulty putting it away, so less is more. Over time and with the adult’s model, the child will learn to choose taking into account not only their personal taste but also factors such as the weather and the place they are going. Visual resources can help make good choices because they make communication clearer, give them autonomy and give them a sense of organization. 

Choosing toys

The ideal is to rotate toys weekly, keeping about six options available and putting the rest away so that the child doesn’t get lost among a multitude of options and can choose easily. Arranging toys on shelves makes it easier to choose, as the child can see the options better, take out the desired toy without scattering the others, and, after using it, put it back in its place more easily.

The key ideas are organization, accessibility and direction. 

By applying these ideas to different everyday situations, such as which vegetables to eat for lunch, which trip to take or the order in which activities will be carried out, it is possible to provide children with experiences of choice, teaching them in a practical way how to make good choices for life.